In the Turbulence

Dear Mama,


I’m listening to a track by Tamela Mann and it’s been in my mind the past couple of days because I miss you. I have questions that you would answer and give me more hope! Now, I find myself wondering about your whereabouts yes, I know where your soul transcended to. The last breath at 18:05 on the 7th of March often takes me to all the spiritual signs about your departure from Earth.


After you left, I longed to be where you are. I saw green hills and beautiful mountains; I wanted to go beyond the horizon. I realised I cannot go beyond because it’s not my time. I’m wondering if that day comes, what will I do? I find my tears rolling down my cheeks. Will I ever stop missing you while I try to understand life and live my purpose? I have flashbacks of the 5th of March 2018 your name was called, and I knew that it was time. When I came back, you were cold, frozen. My pain is deep; it’s 7 years and here I am crying out of the blue.


Just when I thought there would never be tears rolling down and the last view of your dead body flashes back.


I know you see me, you’re with me. I’m weak, and I’m seeking strength from God. You would tell me to have faith. Where are you? Will I see you in 50 years? We will meet again, but please stay on my side like Jesus and the Holy Spirit. My knees are weak talk to all my family members to intercede for me. I am guided by God in Jesus’ name. I want to dance as I experience the glory and see victory.


I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you! Your fighting spirit keeps me going thank you, thank you. You did it all as my mother. Please continue to be my mother. Sometimes it feels unreal that I can’t see you. Then I realise that you stepped aside but are still with me in my heart.


May this year be a year of prosperity, great health, financial growth, peace, and love.


I can at least practice what you taught me. I can only give it my all. Thinking of you gives me strength.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Moment of Reflection   While washing windows, a thought struck me.   Depression creeps in quietly. If I hadn’t gone through two years of therapy, I would still be floating, stuck in autopilot mode. Now, I recognise it—I see it reflected in my surroundings.   I finally understand why people who are abused, in any form, often don’t see a way out. As an outsider, I once watched my sister endure both physical and psychological abuse from her husband. I wanted her to see what I saw, to run from her situation. When words failed, I tried a different approach. I took her on trips, hoping a change of scenery would help. I bought her beautiful clothes to make sure she looked and felt powerful at work. She embraced that, it empowered her. But outside of work, she was still battling her demons.   Now, I look at myself. I am aware—I am ready to break free. But certain limitations hold me back. One thing I know for sure: I am surrounded by warriors. God is carrying me, fighting ...
Read more

SPIRITUALITY, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, LOVE AGAIN

Today, I choose to write about Spirituality during my marriage and divorce journey. If I did know the Source I honestly do not know where would I be emotionally and physically because mentally it was foggy. I couldn’t read anything, my vision got blurry but my Soul knew how to connect and I would listen this time. God gave us many forms of connecting, hearing His Word started reviving the 1% that was untouched was able to switch on and my ground became solid.  Audio sermons revived my Soul, praise and worship songs brought back the water to run through me again, the dance music made me feel good and actually great. I am not saying people who are not Spiritual cannot survive what I am still going through, we all have different Sources that has Supernatural Powers to pick us up and help us walk again on solid ground. I remember attending a meditation and breathing class, and had a vision in that quiet moment and I listened and because I am stubborn and avoid tapping into my Spiritual...
Read more

UNSTOPPABLE

There was a time I doubted myself. He made me question everything — my voice, my spirit, my worth. Was I too different? Too difficult? Was I supposed to fold myself small just to fit into his idea of love? Somewhere between endurance and perseverance — virtues I had worn like armor — I lost sight of myself. I let someone else’s vision blur my own. Why? Because society taught me that as a woman, I must endure. Because two people signed a piece of paper and called it a union, while underneath, I was unraveling. Some days, I caught glimpses of the real me — radiant, undisturbed, unstoppable. But all it took was his presence, his endless, dead-end conversations, to dim my light. He wasn’t speaking to me. He was speaking at me — demanding I abandon my beliefs, my values, my soul, to mirror his. I tried to surrender — to God, to peace — but the cost of betraying myself was too high. The knot in my throat would travel to my gut, crash through my immune system, and leave me hol...
Read more