Where Do I Go From Here?

I’m about to land from Joburg,  Two people, two lights in my life, waiting to hold space for me.

The flight touches down. My Bolt ride takes forever to confirm — prices climbing like an auction. Hungry and tired, I jump into a random car. The driver keeps staring at his phone, confused. Meanwhile, the actual Bolt driver keeps calling me — both of us tangled in the mess. Two minutes later, the driver finally realises I’m not even his passenger.

I ask him, “Should I walk back?”

Frustrated but calm, I just want food, peace, and a place to offload my thoughts.

He shrugs. It’s a cash trip. So I cancel the original ride, hand him the fare, and accept it: life sometimes rides its own unpredictable wave.

Funny thing — I had wondered why he didn’t get out to help with my luggage! Now I know. And still, I laughed.

Because sometimes, you have to allow life to just happen.

And just like that, a message pops up from my dear Motswalle. “Saturday, lunch with Sweetness. Non-negotiable. Pick-up at 12:00.”

I smile. Deep down, I wonder — shouldn’t they be spending time alone, just the two of them? Aren’t they tired of carrying me too?

But no — they want me there. They insist on it.

This is what love looks like when you’re too broken to even ask for it.

Motswalle, who quietly takes care of my children’s needs without ever making me feel like a burden. How do you say no to that kind of grace?

Words often fail me. True gratitude is bigger than anything language can hold.

I’m learning to accept love, not question it.

Sometimes I ask myself: Am I spoiled?

I don’t look miserable. I’m not walking around with my pain stitched to my face.

I look gorgeous, sexy, alive. I make it a point to be happy, to stay positive, to walk tall and lift my head up high.

Jesus said: When you fast, don’t look gloomy like the hypocrites. Anoint your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others you are fasting.

So I put on my gloss, I smile, and I let God handle the rest.

I ask God to lead me to those who need me.

Grant me the strength, the courage, and the confidence to step into the abundance You have prepared for me.

Even in the rain, I stand tall — with dignity, with peace.

I’m discovering the strength I never knew I had. The intelligence I always possessed but doubted.

I ask the Lord: Remove the unnecessary burdens from my shoulders and my mind.

Yes, sometimes I still feel embarrassed about the goodness in my life — about being surrounded by such incredible people even as I go through a divorce.

But healing isn’t about shame. It’s about restoration.

Just the other day, I was at SS’s home. A warm, safe space. She gave me and Mika her treasures — her jewels, each one carrying a story before it found its way to us.

We must treasure them. We deserve treasures. We deserve beautiful things.

And I made a promise that day:

No more selling jewelry for food.

From now on — it’s Swiss watches, pearls, and diamonds.

It’s restoration. It’s rebirth.

It’s the beginning of everything — redesigned and restored.

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Our stories are woven together, a tapestry crafted by many hands.

Each thread is pain, resilience, laughter, dignity, and rebirth.

This is not just my journey — it’s ours.

If you’re walking through your own fire, know this:

You are not alone. You are not broken beyond repair.

You are being rebuilt into something even more beautiful.

And when you’re ready, you’ll wear your crown — not with shame, but with joy.

Share this with a sister who needs to be reminded:

Your story isn’t over. It’s just getting good.

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You are power. You are grace. You are allowed to begin again.

This is our tapestry — woven strong, stitched with love, made to last.

For every woman who forgot her strength —

This is your reminder: You are not broken. You are being rebuilt.

Rise. Reclaim. Rewrite.