Divorce without representation

Where do I begin to tell in a chronological order the events that made me end up sick and in ICU Where does this all start, with me reading between the lines, or when he was desperately wanting me to meet his girlfriend.  Tell me how do I relive this anguish without anxiety and panic attack,  He cheated and changed it to a vision of a big family like a patchwork as he describes it Do I retrieve all the emails dated 2013 about his big heart that has big space to love another woman. Why didn’t he tell me before proposing? Why am I told few years into the marriage? Emails while in India with Octavia, going to the botanical gardens in Claremont, saying he will not do an open marriage if I do not agree. Do I talk about his friend from Botswana, do I talk about the flat he found for Octavia? Do I mention that she had other boyfriends and managed to sleep with and that includes Fritz?  Women are rare to commit to casual sex, I was exposed sexually because of his...

Every day I think I’m at a crossroad or the end of all possibilities, then I realise I’m going further, I move towards the horizon, I climb each day like a mountain, all I want is to reach the top My legs can be weary, my muscles are weak but I carry myself with Hope, Faith as my shepherds In a day I encounter many hurdles on the way to what I want to be permanent in my life, that is Peace and Joy Deep down I know that I am indomitable because those who contributed to my upbringing are indomitable themselves Their stature was undefinable,  I am also responsible in making sure that I find joy and happiness along as the day goes before nightfall. A mind battles if it’s told to stop, however the powerful tool I have is the Soul that makes sure bliss exists in my heart and control the mind, it’s in me that I’m able to dance and sing praise and worship  I yearn to be in the house that is full of jubilation, singing to God all Mighty,  because that reminds m...

Where do I begin to tell in a chronological order the events that made me end up sick and in ICU Where does this all start, with me reading between the lines, or when he was desperately wanting me to meet his girlfriend.  Tell me how do I relive this anguish without anxiety and panic attack,  He cheated and changed it to a vision of a big family like a patchwork as he describes it Do I retrieve all the emails dated 2013 about his big heart that has big space to love another woman. Why didn’t he tell me before proposing? Why am I told few years into the marriage? Emails while in India with Octavia, going to the botanical gardens in Claremont, saying he will not do an open marriage if I do not agree. Do I talk about his friend from Botswana, do I talk about the flat he found for Octavia? Do I mention that she had other boyfriends and managed to sleep with and that includes Fritz?  Women are rare to commit to casual sex, I was exposed sexually because of his...