SPIRITUALITY, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, LOVE AGAIN

Today, I choose to write about Spirituality during my marriage and divorce journey.

If I did know the Source I honestly do not know where would I be emotionally and physically because mentally it was foggy. I couldn’t read anything, my vision got blurry but my Soul knew how to connect and I would listen this time. God gave us many forms of connecting, hearing His Word started reviving the 1% that was untouched was able to switch on and my ground became solid.  Audio sermons revived my Soul, praise and worship songs brought back the water to run through me again, the dance music made me feel good and actually great. I am not saying people who are not Spiritual cannot survive what I am still going through, we all have different Sources that has Supernatural Powers to pick us up and help us walk again on solid ground.

I remember attending a meditation and breathing class, and had a vision in that quiet moment and I listened and because I am stubborn and avoid tapping into my Spiritual gift I felt insecure since being exposed to subtle emotional and psychological abuse. Just when I thought commitment and making a vow is deep and Spiritual, I did not expect my husband to do what he did constructively according to him to destroy me. The voice said to me the person who is going to hold my space is someone I had just met and another one I have known for a long time, well me being stubborn I thought nope, how do I begin to tell this person the story of my life. I remember calling someone very close and telling her about the vision and voice and spoke about my fears. Guess what? The person and people I was directed to are holding the space, not only 1 bulb lit, it was as if the main switch board has trillion plugs and one by one they light, and they don’t go dim at all. The others are being fuelled Spiritually and only a few % left before all of them light because of the people that the Spirit surrounded me with, many times I look up and look at the mountains, the beautiful trees that still have green leaves in winter, I smile and feel relaxed.

 

Today I realise that, when I am in the Spirit I a fearless and in flesh I get tested and shaken. I have been to hospital in and out and final was ICU and still knew I am not going anywhere because the Source knows it all, this is my journey to go back on track, I missed the track that linked me with my Spirituality

 

Rewind a bit, I knew there was something but ignored my intuition and Spiritual dreams. I remember telling myself to stop being scenically about many things that just show up or visions even worse with me I listened to one track by Brandy, and the lyrics say I am not the only one, the judges laugh at me. Because of not listening to the powers bestowed upon me, I overlooked everything. It is important to connect with the Source, I was hollow, empty, I was just and forgot to love and dance with myself the girl who loves herself, I forgot me and how great I am. 

 

I have always been Spiritual, and my mother knew and her Soul still knows that she was raising someone with a similar Spiritual gift as hers. She knew how to nurture it, we would clash on earthly stuff but never in Spirit. We would go deep Spiritually, she knew how to bring me back to the Source and I guess she watered the seed and made sure the roots don’t diminish even beyond traumatic experiences. It is not an easy journey like life that throws anything at us, it is worse when you know that certain if not most things will happen and I cannot do anything about it. It is a gift that I chose and I could not pass it on to someone whom I thought could handle the dreams the vision and the voice.

During this period of divorce in my life, it’s amazing how my dreams are so alive in scriptures that I know I must read. But you know when you weak and you holding on on that please do not forsake me and you promised that you will not, and that my mother’s Faith and Trust in You cannot disappoint me right now. I would rise and one track will be playing in my head, Victory Belongs To Jesus not anyone and God made us all and knows us all, no one has authority to decide that one must die except Him, at least that is what I believe and proudly so.

My Source protected me when I thought I was alone in the dark on bright sunny day and at night too. Oh by the way I am a Catholic, raised and attended Roman Catholic Church, I do pray my Rosary and Novena’s. It’s all about Faith and Trust, it doesn’t matter which denomination, we are all from one Source. I once thought God wanted me to leave this earth after being hospitalised and doctors could not tell what was wrong but I was getting thin, reacting to pain medication. However I had the strength to call from the hospital at 02:00 with palpitations and couldn’t breath, I couldn’t ring the bell, he called the hospital and the doctor. I was throwing up and the surgeon said he has to check if I am reacting to morphine and now I must go for MRI to scan all my organs and they will inject the dye. I went through that, I did gastroscopy and my organs are fine and there’s no cancer.

The Source kept me and I listened to a hymn by Amadodana Ase Weseli Ke sikiloe ke Jesu, any organic or natural thing came out. My mother came down and she was constantly carrying her Rosary and a Jesus of Prague book, I know she was pleading with God, her God that makes miracles to heal me. I am sure she did shed tears behind close doors, not her first born not the daughter that she gave birth to, she would do for anyone she knew and those she didn’t know. She would earnestly pray with Hope and Faith that it is done!

My Spiritual journey is deep and intense, often scary because we live with people who ridicule others and think people are dangerous when they are Spiritually protected by their Soul Masters and Ancestors who are led by our own the only son of God Jesus who lived with amongst us, my role now is led by the Holy Trinity and all my family members who are surrounded by Angels. We are all Souls here on earth and we are all connected to Masters and the Source. I am not sure if I am in the middle of the divorce or near the end, God knows and all I need to focus on is my connection with the Source, The Owner of my Soul.

We are all born with light, other lights are bright and others their lights shine the brightest unbeknown to them from the beginning. We can tap into it and converse with ourselves, the response comes when I am quiet or sleeping in a dream. Sometimes I can be woken up to read something or check something and indeed it is related to my situation right now. I embrace, I share with love, it’s an amazing Blessing that I now understand fully with guidance still from my mother, father grandmothers, and grandfathers.

 

The are no coincidences in life, find a lesson in everything and you will find it. I knew this when I was young carrying this gift all along, everything happens the way it’s supposed to be. We may say it’s too soon to die, there’s no time according to the Spiritual World. Time is not under my control instead I am subservient to Time, it never stops for anyone, we stop breathing and it continues. Time has power and it actually makes me realise the present is important, dance, have fun, pray, connect, release, laugh, smile, dressed up.

 

My space is precious and I respect and honour with great gratitude, I am because the people surrounding me are genuinely holding the space with me. 

 

Writing this assists me with my footsteps towards victory and freedom on my Soul, my next blog will be a continuation of Spirituality  (Marriage, Divorce and Falling in love)

 

It’s true nothing is impossible, the are no limitations and many surprises that also surprised me too, remember I am not in control I am only managing while I am guided

 

Peace, Love